Monkey Empire Multiplex Movie Mania

SPROINGY DOINGY
Childrens entertainer Sproingy Doingy has a problem, it's his moms birthday and he's stuck performing Punch and Judy for a tough crowd on the other side of town. Will he pack up his puppets in time and make it home in time for tea and cake?

What's right with it?
Sproingy is one of cinema's lovable losers, you'll laugh, you'll cry as his madcap adventure takes him through the wall to the world of the magical elves and out the other side with a newfound respect for family and the children he entertains.

What's wrong with it?
The saccarine Punch and Judy performance he performs for his mother will have you vomiting into your popcorn.

FIFA UNIVERSE CUP
Licensed flick which teams up the cream of the worlds international soccer stars with top-drawer Hollywood talent as they attempt to save earth by competing in a martian football tournament.

What's right with it?
Teaming up Peter Crouch, Ronaldo and Bartez with Russell Crowe, Lindsay Lohan and Michael Gambon is a touch of genius uniting the world against ever more outlandish alien teams. The finale is pure Hollywood gold.

What's wrong with it?
Even in zero gravity the sight of 600lb WWE wrestler Viscera creating a team of clones from George Best's liver is just downright silly.

SPACETUT ACADEMY
In the future law enforcement is performed by the elite and secretive Tutmen, an organisation modelled on the mask of King Tutenkhamun. A rag tag brigade of freedom fighters are drafted into the Spacetut Academy in order to prove commsioner Gordens assertion that he can turn anything into a Tutman.

What's right with it?
There are a few laughs, mostly at the expense of Brad Pitt's villanous PT instructor "Ceaserpatra".

What's wrong with it?
According to ginger wonderkid Harry Knowles the script was found in the bin after beign rejected as an early draft for Police Academy 11. Judging by the number of gags centering around KT Tutmans freakish ability to mimic 1980's electronic sound effects this is probably true.